Warning: This is a reflective post…i’ve had some time off and did some digging around my inner self
“There is a moment when you take a step or two backwards and start to see the bigger picture, the full picture, the elephant so to speak and then you wait, your eyes refocus, your body adjusts and there in front of you is the biggest thing you’ve ever seen…it is a massive elephant…holy shit…how on earth did I not notice this given it’s size, presence and impact.”
I’ve worked in a local council now for 20 years (half of my life) and I’d like to think I’ve managed to avoid being completely institutionalised.
But it isn’t until you start a process of transforming yourself that you realise that some of the cultures/behaviours/traditions that you work hard to remove have found there way into your own life.
In that very moment I felt vulnerable, without purpose and most of all I started questioning everything I did and do.
I’ve blogged about these types of things on here before, not in as much detail as i’m now realising sits within me, but my reflective posts and my journey of coaching for example are starting points for me to build on.
It has all got me to a point in my life where I now need to truly transform who I am and prepare myself for my emerging future. It simply isn’t good enough for me to expect others to do this without pushing myself through the change also.
I read quite a bit of organisational type stuff more than I read fiction if i’m honest, I’m always keen to learn and push myself and I really enjoy reading peoples blog posts of their individual and organisational journeys. I always thought that my journey wouldn’t be as profound as it is starting to be though.
Growing up in a local council these are the things that struck me…
I learned to live with frustration.
I learned to live with pressure and stress.
I learned to live in a world that is disconnected.
I learned that failure is to be avoided.
I learned that authority is to be trusted.
I now need to unlearn all of this as it has held me back and is unhealthy
I’m learning to live with opportunity and creativity
I’m learning to live in harmony and find my personal wellbeing.
I’m learning that the world is and has always been connected and I’m connected to it at all levels.
I’m learning that failure is a process of learning.
I’m learning that everyone is to be trusted.
Most of all…
I’m learning to open my mind.
I’m learning to open my heart.
I’m learning to open my will.
I’m learning to see that the elephant has been created by everyone to protect themselves from fear.
All of the above may seem a bit random for some people and that is OK.
Everyone is on their own journey and everyone experiences different things in different ways. We need to celebrate and acknowledge that difference more…we focus too much on creating artificial barriers and boundaries which hinder us all from simply being human.